How broad is your band?
Tuesday, October 4th, 2011Interested readers may wonder (Ha! There’s the conceited introduction of an arrogant optimist if ever there was one) about the disparity between the date of publication of the previous post and the reference to Radio 4 schedules of some weeks ago. (Really? You actually think that? Seriously? How interested can anyone be? You’re not even that interested yourself, you great baboon. It’s just lazy, lazy writing and I won’t stand for it. (Yeah, well so’s interjecting in parentheses to argue with yourself, you wanker. “Ooh look at me, I’m moaning tediously while pretending to find offence in that same tedious moan like a deconstructivist comedian, yet at the same time am still moaning. Tediously. Falalalala, I’m so self-aware. I’ve seen Stewart Lee do stand-up so I think this is a clever way to behave, falalalala.”) Don’t try to outsmart me, sunshine. You just remember who you’re dealing with here.) The answer is BT, the artist formerly known as British Telecommunications Plc. (Oh, for Gawd’s sake. I’ve had enough of this.) Why, oh why, oh why (I mean it: stop it) can’t they ever bloody manage to connect your phone and broadband when you move home (I’m getting the chloroform) without making you wait for weeks on end (I’m warning you: this is your last chance) for a service they routinely provi-mmmfffff…
INTERLUDE